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ISFJs and ENTPs and Stress
Let’s start with our friends the ISFJs. How can you tell when an ISFJ is under stress, particularly at work?
Some things to watch for include being overly cautious, getting angry at people who are late or unprepared, pessimism, and frustration when others fail to follow the rules. Some ISFJs turn into martyrs, complaining they do all the work for others and no one helps or cares about the ISFJ. Others can become rather unrealistic in their expectations about what can be done. Usually, they are quite the opposite in this regard.
Events that can cause stress to surface can include a lack of balance between home and work, being teased or ridiculed by others, and disruption of their routines, which often give ISFJs a sense of belonging, comfort, and stability. When the ISFJ's version of common sense is ignored, particularly in favor of wild ideas, many of them will experience stress. Many ISFJs are people pleasers, and they feel stress when they believe they are unable to please everyone all the time. ISFJs tend to want to avoid conflict, which itself can lead to stress. Just thinking about conflict can make them feel ill. Harmony is so important to them, that they want to do whatever’s possible to restore it.
In contrast, when ENTPs are under stress, they can turn very sarcastic and make biting comments, appear completely disorganized, become unproductive, or become very competitive. Some isolate themselves and become lethargic. Other ENTPs develop tunnel vision, or fall into passive-aggressive behavior. Still others jump from one idea to another without taking action on any of them.
ENTPs might feel stress when they are supervised too closely, their abilities are questioned, or if others suggest the ENTP is not to be trusted. Many ENTPs dislike being pressured into making a decision, especially if they are not ready. Others have a hard time just listening to people, instead of trying to solve their problems. Some ENTPs have a difficult time coming to a decision because they want to explore more options. Other group members might not appreciate the delay, causing stress. Still other ENTPs feel stress when they have to work within the "system," whatever it might be, especially when the system makes little sense to them.
About the Strong Interest Inventory: In-Depth Look at Realistic Types
This issue we'll look more closely at Realistic types. First, let's consider jobs. As discussed in previous newsletters, Realistic types prefer to work with similar people involved in practical problem solving. They are least likely to want to engage in Social kinds of activities. Many Realistic people have a narrow range of interests.
Realistic types tend to have traditional values and work within the "system," whatever it might be. Many have a strong belief in freedom, as well as ambition, being practical, and self-control. Forgiveness is not a common value. Realistic types tend to value concrete things (car, home, etc.). Many have a very closed system of beliefs and values, which do not change.
The self-image of Realistic types is often one involving technical, mechanical, or athletic abilities. Many enjoy working with tools, machines, electronics, or their hands. Others report disliking and performing poorly at scholastic tasks (e.g. taking tests). Some Realistic see themselves as having low interpersonal skills, and believe Social jobs, such as teaching, would be frustrating. Interestingly, some report relatively low self-esteem, but high confidence in their Realistic skills.
When solving problems, Realistic types use those aspects of their personalities described above. They prefer problems "that have a solution," as one person put it. In other words, they like practical, concrete, and structured solutions, instead of scholarly, clerical, or imaginative activities.
Some adjectives used to describe this type include genuine, hardheaded, realistic, inflexible, practical, reserved, lacking insight, normal, materialistic, persistent, conforming, dogmatic, natural, and self-effacing.
As before, it's common for people to be a combination of more than one type. No description will match everyone. There are likely to be aspects of the above Realistic types will disagree with. Each person has to decide for him- or herself which parts are accurate.
The FIRO-B: Team Mismatches III
A common occurrence in the workplace is learning how to interact effectively with those colleagues whose preferences are different from our own. As you know, teams can have a preponderance of people with common preferences. What happens when your preferences clash with the group's?
For example, what if your lowest Wanted Need is Affection but it's the team's highest? You might be tempted to avoid after-work events, parties, and social functions. Some people want to skip small talk or pleasant conversation before and after meetings, preferring instead to stick strictly to business. During meetings, you could keep moving the discussion forward by going on to the next topic. Others withdraw from the discussion by taking detailed notes. Still others take unpopular positions in meetings in attempt to focus the group on the topic at hand.
In contrast, Wanted Affection might be your highest need and the group's lowest. What could happen then? You might make personal sacrifices for the sake of the team. You might extend the offer to help people individually, or discuss issues in private, instead of during a meeting. You could schedule after-work activities in an attempt to bring the team together. It's possible you would take the lead in providing more honest, direct feedback among the group’s members. Many people in this situation go to great lengths to help the team, perhaps far more than others involved.
With many mismatches, it depends on how important this need is for you. If your Expressed Need score is very low (0-2), you might not do any of the above. Likewise, if Inclusion is your lowest Wanted Need, you might tolerate a mismatch more than with your highest need.